Courage for Kennedy – Journal

February 7, 2006

Just Another Day in Paradise

Category: Fundraisers,Gratitude,Treatment – Melenie – 6:50 pm

My day started early with Kennedy throwing up formula all over me at 5am. Not exactly how I had planned it. The benefit was that I had some time to pray after cleaning everything up and waiting for the alarm to go off. I’m sure that is what helped my day to run much smoother. After getting the kids up and ready, I got a call from Keith letting me know that traffic was a disaster because of all the gawkers checking out the flat tire on the side of the road. Great…Austin ended up being 10 minutes late and Kennedy was 15 minutes late. It turned out ok because she wasn’t up to doing pt so Amy just worked on casting her feet to make molds for her new foot/leg supports. Kennedy continued to be sick despite not being hooked up to her food. Our appointment at the clinic wasn’t until 1:30 but we decided to see if we could get in since it was 10:30 and I hated to run all the way home just to come back to Portland. Despite being completely booked for the morning, Dr. Olson said it was absolutely fine and to work us in. Kennedy took a short nap (thank God) while we were waiting for her cream to work and did great the rest of the day. Her bilirubin was almost normal but her enzymes and ammonia were still too high. It’s always something, but she did just get more chemo last week. Her white count is dropping and her platelets are lower but not critical. They will check again on Friday and Dr. Olson said it was okay to leave Kennedy accessed-much to her delight. They were then able to squeeze us in for her occupational therapy evaluation at 1:00 (like I said, God sure worked out timing for us today!) and she definitely needs intensive work here just as she does with physical and speech therapy. I will have more information when I get the official reports-she just had a LOT to say today. We then headed down to the business office to work something out with our bill (now nearing half a million dollars!!!) and it looks like the hospital may write off 100%!! This is the hospital, day treatment, pharmacy when inpatient, therapy, clinic, radiology and radiation therapy, etc. We are not holding our breath but she said the committee is aware of our situation and are just waiting for the rest of our paperwork to come in. What a blessing that would be and would leave us with managable medical expenses (10-50 thousand) and care expenses. Please continue to pray for God’s prevision and hand in our financial situation. The insurance continues to be such a pain! They are pre-certifing almost everything (at the wrong hospitals but that’s another story) then not paying for anything-just reviewing and denying. We have always believed that God has a plan for EVERY SINGLE piece of the puzzle and the finances are just another piece. I meditate and pray daily and continually recite Jeremiah 29:11. I KNOW that God has a plan and a purpose for all of this and while He did not give Kennedy cancer, by allowing it to occur His will will be done and lives will be blessed and changed through this. He is such an awesome God! Am I ever mad???? Absolutely! Am I ever down and depressed? Sure! Do I ever question what in the world is going on??? Daily! But I know who is in control and because of that I can always move forward. One look at my daughter and I can’t help but have faith.

So tonight…Kennedy is still freaking out every time I even mention turning her food back on. I may just have to wait until she is out. Once she starts vomiting the idea of putting things inside her tummy is enough to upset her. She told me today that she wishes this stuff would just get out of her head (Kennedy has decided-after getting to ride in the front of the truck one time-that she gets car sick now in the back and I told her I thought it might be all in her head. She agreed and now she wishes all the bad things in her life would just get out of her head. Don’t we all!). We did get a pleasant surprise in the mail…we had turned in our receipt from Kennedy’s nutrition to Candlelighters and they were able to reimburse us for $750! That will definitely help. Many thanks to the wonderful organizations out there that help “cancer families.”

The rest of us are doing well and just moving along. We are planning to go the rodeo in Albany this weekend. We haven’t been back since Kennedy was the rodeo princess. Also, the t-shirt sample will be here tomorrow so they should be ready very, very soon as should the bracelets. The Indoor Garage Sale is this weekend and there are upcoming fundraisers planned including a benefit concert on March 4th and a raffle of some fabulous prizes from Timberline lodge-including a season’s pass of skiing valued at over $700 for next season!!! Thank you to Timberline and the staff and students at Oregon City High School that are working hard to raise money to help with Kennedy’s medical expenses-especially Tiffany Redwing for getting the word out about our girl to the OCHS community. Thanks to the many businesses in Molalla and Mulino who were willing to post flyers for the upcoming Garage Sale at Willamette Falls Hospital (and to Kennie’s papa who spent his Saturday morning going everywhere to ask) and also to Spurs in Molalla for their very generous donation.

In My Daughter’s Eyes-Martina McBride

In my daughter’s eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter’s eyes

In my daughter’s eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter’s eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It’s hangin’ on when your heart
has had enough
It’s giving more when you feel like giving up
I’ve seen the light
It’s in my daughter’s eyes

In my daughter’s eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she’ll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I’m gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I’ll be there
In my daughter’s eyes


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