Courage for Kennedy – Journal

June 18, 2005

Category: Treatment – Melenie – 10:24 pm

Well, we are still here and it doesn’t look like we are going home tomorrow. There are two main criterias for going home: 1) no bacterial growth in her blood cultures for 48 hours and 2) no fever for 24 hours. She has not yet had any bacterial growth in her cultures, but she can not seem to manage her fevers. She maintains a low grade fever around 100.0 but randomly spikes at 103. Within the last 30 minutes, her fever hit 104.5 so it is a safe bet that she will be here until at least Monday. On top of this, she has not eaten in 48 hours or drank anything in 24 hours. They are keeping her well hydrated with fluids but this does little to ease my worry. We just tried to give her Tylenol and she began to vomit so we may be back to the ice packs by 9:00 pm. She has averaged 3 spikes in temperature over the last few days and Dr. Norwood was insistent that they have to stop for 24 hours to go home. I agree with him, after all I would not want to go home only to return in a few hours, but I’m feeling caged too. Last night when Keith got here he strongly encouraged me to get out of the room and even leave the hospital. I went to Fred Meyer’s but when I’m away I find it difficult to really relax and enjoy the moment. I found myself looking at the clock and trying to rush to get back. One of the difficult things for me has been not having any time to myself anymore. I want to be with my children and am devoting my time to them, but I’m already feeling a sense of losing myself in this and it scares me. I know that it is vital to my well-being to nurture myself but actually doing it is very difficult.

Austin was supposed to come and spend yesterday with Kennedy and I but after being here a few hours he was also sick. He recovered quickly and within 24 hours was back to his old self and eating everything. Dr. Norwood believes they may have the same bug but because Kennedy’s defenses are down she can’t seem to fight it off. Even with heavy doses of broad spectrum antibiotics it continues to maintain a hold on her.

Love your babies and continue to pray for healing for ours.


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